I own exactly one turtleneck sweater.  It’s chocolate brown, and goes nicely with this green vest I have.  I look good enough in it, although it’s a little artsy.  At least it’s not black.

Apparently I also have the perfect neck for a turtleneck, which I guess is a euphemism for the observation that I have a long neck.

But, I just hate wearing the damned thing.  It feels like a little furry monkey always has his claws around my throat.

Perhaps, in colder climates, people are willing to be warm in exchange for the sensation of a cute little primate throttling the life from you.  That doesn’t work for me, though, at least not living in such a generally temperate and pleasant city.  It gets cold in winter, sure, but not nearly so cold that I’m willing to spend the entire day being slowly murdered by a vengeful lemur.

I wonder if artists prefer turtlenecks because the sense of impending primate homicide is inspirational.  Perhaps dancers wear legwarmers for the same reason?

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