One minute left to post…

When I originally submitted this entry, it read in its entirety as the following:

There!

I had just arrived home, at 11:58, and realised that if I wanted to have a post for yesterday, I would have to very quickly write… something, anything.  I was actually quite worried that my generally dodgy internet connection would choose that moment to fail, leaving me with a missed day.  Of course I could simply have written two entries today, but there still would have been no post dated yesterday, and for whatever reason the continuity of daily posting seemed important at the time.

I now realise that it’s been exactly a month since I started this blog (my first post was actually written on October 22, but a default time zone of GMT on the WordPress website labeled its posting time as the next day).  Frankly, now seems like as good a time as any to stop worrying about posting every day, since I’ve sufficiently demonstrated that I can write that often if I really want to.  And, as the quality of my posts demonstrates, it might just be that I can’t offer something on a daily basis worth saying.

What’s interesting about my rush to post last night is that I actually have a half-dozen completed (or near-completed) posts sitting in a draft folder, any one of which could have served as yesterday’s post in a more contentful way than “There!”  I didn’t use them, though, for the same reason that I didn’t use them on the days I wrote them (and that I probably won’t use them in the future, at least without considerable revision): they reveal a little too much about me, or perhaps the people I care about.

When I started this blog, I envisioned it more as an opportunity to rant a little, basically an online diary or journal, something that would be personal and not really intended to be shared with the outside world.  But, like a drunken sorority girl who uploads naked pictures of herself to Photobucket for only her boyfriend to see and then finds them on 4chan a few days later, I seem to have found an accidental audience for this weblog.  That’s fine with me, but it colours a lot of what I’d write with the vague apprehension that certain comments about my life might bother people I care about, or at least reveal more about them than they’d care to share.  Even when I try to write with a style that largely leaves out personal details, there have definitely been times when people who know me (and, I’ve got to assume that most of the people reading this know me personally) will recognise events and people from even my cloudy descriptions.

I certainly don’t feel any particular obligation to open myself up on a random online log space.  On the other hand, am I straining the bounds of the genre to be so withdrawn in a medium that for someone like me amounts to a glorified public diary?  There’s certainly an exaggerated sense of self-importance that comes from withholding largely irrelevant personal details (“I’m important and mysterious.  No, you may not know my belt size!”).  On the other hand, I have written but not published several entries that reflected poorly on people in my life, even though the posts were focused on me, and I wouldn’t want those people to read the entry (more of the possibly-delusional self-importance theme: “I’m so important that people in my life take time to read about me!”) and be hurt or confused.  It certainly seems uncool to write about other people in a public webspace.  But, it’s tricky to write about me without also writing about the things and people around me.

Meh.  Thinking on this topic gets circular awfully quickly.  In the end, I raise this partly because I think it’s an interesting point of discussion.  The notion of what exactly a web-log is, personal diary or public column, or something in-between, is intriguing, given how many people have blogs now (especially when contrasted with how few people actually read them).  Of course I also raise this topic partly as an explanation for the dozen-or-so people who saw this entry as a rather odd one-word post, before I could edit in what you’re reading now.

Ultimately, I started this blog mostly out of boredom, and I’m rather pleased to have stuck with it this long.  I think I’ll now throttle back to writing only when I actually have something to say, which is probably best for everyone involved.  After all, there’s enough terrible writing on the internet as it is.

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