The wonders of technology

The advance of technology is an amazing thing.  We put people on the moon.  We cure disease.  We send a package thousands of kilometres overnight.  We watch television shows on really, really thin TV sets.  The opportunities that technology has brought to our lives are too great to even begin to quantify.

Last night, I surfed the internet from a hot tub.

Well, really I only had time to read my e-mail and visit Facebook, since three other people were waiting to read their e-mail and visit Facebook.  One of them wanted to check her stock portfolio, too.

Also, there is mounting evidence that I caught pneumonia.  This probably has some connection to being wet on a windy terrace in the middle of the night.

But, none of this meaningfully detracts from the sheer rainbow of amazingness of an online hot tub.

I admit that I was a little surprised, at first, to see this seemingly odd combination of technology.  Also, I had some initial concerns about how computers run on electricity, and hot tubs conduct electricity, and electricity kills people.  Have you seen the episode of Ren & Stimpy with the board game, “Don’t whizz on the electric fence”?  Yeah.  But, the hot tub’s designer seems to have foreseen that potentially lethal design flaw, and accounted for it with some sufficiently waterproof computer hardware.  The touchscreen was a bit slippery, but otherwise everything worked admirably well.  And, the possibilities of an online connection in a hot tub are very impressive.

I could, for example, check my e-mail, instead of hanging out with the three women in the hot tub with me.

Or, I could IM someone on Facebook, instead of hanging out with the three women in the hot tub with me.

Ooh!  I could look at online pornography, instead of hanging out with the three women in the hot tub with me.

And, of course, nothing is more exciting than being in a hot tub while someone else checks e-mail.  That brings a whole new dimension to the hot tub experience.


So, it turns out that having online access while in a hot tub is actually not as astoundingly amazing as it seems at first.  In hindsight, I think I’m going to rank it right up there with the personal pizza and the one-player ping-pong table, and other leaps of technology that might perhaps have missed the point.

But, we were amused for a good five minutes.  And, no one was electrocuted.  So, in the end, the online hot tub was hardly a complete waste.

Although I think I did catch pneumonia.

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One Comment on “The wonders of technology”

  1. Nelson Says:

    I was enticed when I read “… no one read this blog anyway.” and was pleased to have discovered by way of serendipity. Quite funny.

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