I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me.

So, last night I went to a concert.  It was a pretty good show overall, and well worth the relatively cheap but still very good tickets that I got through a handy union connection.

(Big shout out to AFTRA.  This, right here, is why I keep paying those union fees.)

So, the crowd was an interesting mix.  Lots of young, over-sexualised adults (many in costume, many costumes being sexy; some involving strategically-placed gaps), and lots of twelve-year-old girls, many with a parent or two in tow.

Now, right there, that sounds like an odd mix, doesn’t it?  If I were the parent of a twelve-year-old girl (and fingers crossed that I’m not), I would maybe wonder, just from looking at the crowd, if this were really an age-appropriate show for my child.  Sexuality?  Check.  Common and obvious drug use?  Check.  Nudity?  Check.  Small children?  One of these things is not like the others.

I saw more than a few parents looking some combination of shocked, aghast, confused, and titillated.  And, perhaps some parents did turn around and take their child home.  Most didn’t, though.

Now, I’ve been to some over-sexualised concerts.  I’ve got a weak spot for 80’s hair metal, and those dudes really, really like to talk about sex when they’re on stage, especially at more recent shows when the musicians are 50 and trying desperately to act young.  But, I’ll still admit that last night was very sexualised, even by the standards of my rather sordid concert history.  Lots of sex talk.  And dances.  And surprisingly accurate and detailed hand and arm gestures.  A young enough child (and there were plenty) could have actually learned how sex works just from watching the gestures.

And, if the parents knew what they were going into, and decided that their kids were mature enough to deal with it, then that’s cool.  I really don’t think the content would be especially surprising or shocking to most of the kids in the audience; the sexuality was frequent, but not especially severe.  And, assless chaps on audience members?  We’ve all got a butt — nothing to see there.

But some parents were clearly distressed.  Not distressed enough to leave with their children, mind, just distressed enough to look panicky and… well, distressed.  And, for those parents, I have to ask, “What the hell did you think your child was going to see here?”  Thirty seconds on Google would have produced everything there is to know about the relative age-appropriateness of that show.

And, seriously, it was a concert.  Have these parents never been to a concert?  I bet even Jonas Brothers shows have audience members dropping E and fooling around in the restrooms.

I hope those kids had a good time.  If they were reasonably mature, then they shouldn’t have been seeing anything new or unexpected at that show.  But, if it wasn’t right for some of those kids, then those parents were pretty damned negligent.  I’m not going to worry about it, since what other people do with their kids isn’t my business, for the most part.  But, I shouldn’t even be noticing this.  There shouldn’t be enough distressed parents at a concert that I’m noticing a trend.  It’s just not that hard to know what you’re getting into when you buy a concert ticket.  And, these tickets were a little hard to get; you couldn’t just accidentally stumble across them and then decide to take your kid.

Won’t someone please think of the children?  ‘Cause, it’s definitely not my job.

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One Comment on “I’m your biggest fan. I’ll follow you until you love me.”

  1. Andrew Says:

    Did you go to a Lady Gaga concert? Have you heard she’s actually a man?


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