Thank you, crazy bus lady

Thank you, crazy bus lady, for making my bus ride special.

A bus can be such a quiet place. everyone going to their own place, doing their own thing, in their own world.  But, you, crazy bus lady, you bring us together.  Through you, we all share a wonderful experience.  You’re like the spirit of Christmas, but with more of a urine smell.

“I told the CIA!  I told them about you.  You can’t tell me what to do any more.  I own the radio station now, and the CIA knows about you.  I own the radio station!”

Of course, we all pretend we can’t hear you, because that’s the polite thing to do on a bus.  But, we can.  You’re so loud and insistent, we couldn’t ignore you if we tried, no matter how much we go lá lá lá lá in our heads, or stare intently out the window, or concentrate on our mobile phones.  And, although we all pretend, we all know that everyone else knows.  It’s a bonding moment.  It brings us together.

“Even with your lasers, you can’t violate my body.  No one can violate my body.  Your airplane is too far away.  Your lasers can’t reach me.  You can reach Nigeria, but you can’t reach me!  Not from space!”

Thanks to you, crazy bus lady, I am able to experience a togetherness with the people on this bus.  We are all strangers, but for this one shining moment, we are all one, thinking exactly the same thing, feeling exactly the same emotion.

“Cold as ice.  Cold as ice, the kids are.  They cut you as soon as look at you.  They don’t know a good pussy when they see one.  Cold as ice.  They want what’s in my pussy.  They just don’t know it.  They too cold.”

All of us, not looking at each other, pretending not to see, not to hear, pretending that our text messages are truly fascinating, or that the ugly dog near the bus stop is just amazing, or that our iPod really is loud enough to drown out the rambling, all of us are united, in exactly the same thought:

For the love of all that’s holy, I do NOT want to hear about what’s in that woman’s pussy.

Thank you, crazy bus lady, for bringing me closer to my fellow man.

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